it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
