I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
