dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
