Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
