I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
