She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
