no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize