He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
