I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
