Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
