I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
