Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
