know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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