i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
