i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
