She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
