What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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