Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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