Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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