Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
