her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
