I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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