i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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