brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am available for nakedness
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
