We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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