I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
