i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
