Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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