If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
