I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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