He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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