If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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