True but thats because hes a fetus.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
