I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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