There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
