His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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