You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
