Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
