You can't motorboat a personality
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
