Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
