Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
