so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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