i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
