: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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