If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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