just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
