You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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