well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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