Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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