Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
