you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i've created a new STD.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
