He is such a slut. More and more my type.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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